There comes a point where you ask how much does real life bleed into your subconscious and affect your dreams. If you ask me you know you have some things to deal with when some faceless person in your dreams says you’re angry all the time.

Germany has passed, school is back, and a few other things are going on as September is beginning to end, along with the impending end of the year 2016. There’s quite a bit I want to say before I disappear and shovel out work in vain hopes of making some form of profit. I wanted to make a post-Germany note on the whole experience I’ve wanted to do for 3 years (according to someone, I loose track of time when I don’t sleep) but I didn’t feel I was able to gather my thoughts properly and spew diarrhea from the mouth.

POST GERMANY

The whole experience was something else; I was impressed how everyone in the countryside took Sundays off no question asked. It’s something I only see local chik fil a  and hobby lobby joints do. There was a sort of peace and flexibility to really touch on some of the dark tomes I’ve always wanted to do, but couldn’t figure out how to execute it without coming off as some edgelord.

The last few years a common theme with dreams have been about teeth falling out, female cuckolding, rape, the fear of settling for mediocrity for a partner, shameful fetishes, and a pleasurable numbing experience of the jaw that’s a mix of your leg falling asleep and masturbating. Ever since April there was a lovers theme as a reaction to life events, I feared I was trading off some of the darker roots of inkwork in favor for something very precious. That lover’s series is still around, sometimes it manifests into something violent, other ones are a bit more private and I debate whether to convert them into full fledge paintings, of perhaps a comic.

With a shoddy Internet connection and the quiet of the countryside that’s uncommon where I live I was able to combine the light ambiguity and the dark themes and push what I can get away with and try to deal with the violent dreams.

I had this paranoid manic tell me that rape dreams don’t mean anything because someone is already doing the act, your mind is trying to tell you what’s going on while in REM sleep. If that were the case I probably would have a few rape children and changed locks a few times. It’s a silly idea, but it’s enough to keep you up in thought with that person constantly saying that. It makes an interesting idea to work with, and now that I’m back in this campus that’s strange about sex and nudity I’m pushing for a more subliminal form of neuroticism, violence, and love in dreams. One thing I noticed is that those who are focus with finding the most obvious tend to overlook subtle imagery that goes over there head, yet will be remembered in a dream or some other point in time. Disguised with a deceivingly happy colors, or the pure white pigments it makes a series of violence and personal destruction look like a happy trip. It’s amazing what colors can make someone perceive a violent, or a loving situation. If I can make people feel as anxious as I do on a daily basis then I’m doing something right.

POST SOFT SKELETON AND BEYOND

I told someone I wanted to do something different with my short time in Germany. I wanted to do something I’m not familiar with, and cross into the threshold of discomfort. There are few images of me that exist online, that’s changed in the last 2 years due to picture happy people in the program. I like the idea of being a faceless cunt with others to interpret what I look like (one of my favorites was when someone thought I would look like a female Trent Reznor with longer hair). I wanted to push more into the personal issues, and dream violence in a different medium. I told someone I was going to do a weird short film just because. It was different and I had no idea how it would happen. Fortunately I had access to a professional camera and editing software to accomplish the technical parts. Having great tracks to select from on this great website was a huge bonus too. The audio portal truly has some very talented people.

The dream thing I admit was extra padding to make the short film sound more sfw depending on the potential quagmire if it should be featured in the thesis show come April.  Originally there was never supposed to be distinctive genders in the film, it was difficult to get the test shots done when you’re trying to tell different people the personal anxieties only you can act out with a film that deals with your personal eccentricity. I ended up donning the roles of both the skeleton and the object of affection. To really acquire that sought after anxiety I had to do it because no one will understand your bullshit but you and act it out properly. I had an oversized sweater that made the main protagonist of the SOFT SKELETON appear to be a shapeless blob(moi). I couldn’t get my hands on a chest binder nor was I willing to pick at my utters with duct tape. Doing the painted animations was something entirely new. In high school I used to animate frame-by-frame via ms paint and a 20 dollar tablet. That was abandoned, but doing animation makes me angry and uncomfortable. I could perform my bullshit with the transparencies frame by frame instead of it leaking into my relationships. I was able to reflect on personal aspects on past relationships and noticed that trend. When you think about it, it’s so fucking STUPID. There’s much more significant things that can be used in fights, and something as pathetic as your own issues getting in the way without properly dealing with is just fucking dumb. At least with relationship woes such as cheating it’s easy to walk away and decide shit. Perhaps this has to due with the certain uncertainty of this current shit, or perhaps I’m overthinking it.

To put a long story short I wanted to do something weird in film and make a film that makes me look like king fat fuck with emotional problems. And it was en excuse to burn chicken hearts and livers from the butcher bargain bin. It went well and I thank all the NG musicians for letting me use their music.

Why the “Soft” skeleton? In all honesty it spawned from a song from the band that used the phrase “soft skeleton” I forget the name that was associated with the band but the time period this band was brought up I look at with a knot in my gut and a smile. I remember the uncertainty, new feelings, and trusting that things have a weird way of working out. My love of skeletons combined into this world of sensitive people who are fleshy shells of themselves with vague hints of self-destruction.

OTHER STUFF

If you’ve noticed the past 2 weeks I actually came through with a 4 year promise and started updating the madness comic again. I think it came form wanting to finish old stuff and it’s really a stupid story that’s fun to do. My gift you all of you. I have the comic linked on my websites but I’ll put it HERE. On my blog there’s a story explaining all of the 4 year hiatus in a tumblie bumblie post. The comic updates Mondays and Fridays. BLOG

I’ve also added canvas prints to the store, for those who’ve inquired about prints and based on what was popular I signed and numbers a series of 12  8.5x11 canvas prints for $10. The shipping is uber low too for everyone so if anyone’s interested in that or other stuff they can check that out here

STORE

Thesis show will be here before I know it, and I have to be honest with what and why I do it. The last part of this is super personal and I have no idea if I can say it because I’m unsure if it matters to them. I keep saying the artwork will do the talking, but to assume people or whoever you’re trying ot talk to can understand your way of representing thoughts is a bad idea. The cat has a strong hold of my tongue and I wonder if it affects others too. It needs to stop.

PS It’s kind of sad that a bunch of stores put out the Halloween shit up before August ended, but at the same time it makes finding the discount deformed skull candles that look like a deformed fetus easier when October begins.  

For those in Germany around Salzwedel, the show I've been working on the last half year (and 3 weeks overtime) will be at the Kunsthaus Wensday from 6-8 P.M. The short film will also premeire there at 6 and will go live around 3 or 4 central US time. I'm slowly posting the work I've done here and will have a more bloggy piece here because I feel like advertising.

I'm coming back Friday night so in case anyone places orders they'll be delayed by 3 days. The sale is still going on. 30% off your entire purchase if you type in "catp4w" at the check out. Your support has been crucial to make this whole residency possible (partially  but the support has played a role).

CLICK FOR STORE AND SALE STUFF.

See you all next week, and for german fans or anyone around the area I hope to see you Wensday night. :)\

EDIT: For some reason NG won't let me put up my pictures here in this post so plese click the links please!!!!

I had a long as fuck post here with all sorts of fancy edits and spelling/grammer edits but I just lost all of that so fuck it no personal garbage nor deep introspection on my binging problems and uber loved ones. Though for the first time in probably in a long time/ever I have this peace of mind about a lot of things. Mostly personal stuff and If I go on it'll be soft and goey and it will get too personal than i'd like to get. Sometimes this acts like a blogpost that belongs on my personal tumblr, and i'm so happy few people (if not none since it's the 3rd blog since getting banned on that site a lot)  know about it. My personal haven of fatporn, guro, and stupid gushy personal shit.
I will say things look really weird and fucked up on both ends, and I'm confident with a lot of things. Life's really fuckign weird. I had some shit come in the mail that's helped pay for a bunch of things that i didn't expect. I was worried how those things would get settled but yea that happened. Shit can look really tough and never ending and just a wave of bullshit shity shit.

With that said I made more ZINES since the last time i posted. Issue #1 and #2 of the UNSPOKEN DIALOGUE are still up! That and and a little ZINE called Cherubs is up. I posted the coverpage awhile back but theres plenty of copies left. been busy getting into the zine scene here, taking on a second job, and dealing with lsot funds with reject letters of shows. It's not the rejects, it's the money it's a shitty way to get your shit out there and trying to find different avenues. Getting comissions i don't know how you guys here do it, I've offered it and no one bit, so I stopped offering unless osmeone asks. But I have so much shit in the store and all these recent watercolors available that I think its ok. Pretty much anything up here is available to purchase.

I say this cause the trip to germany is official. Got the ticket and whatnot and will be heading there in june. This means with a bunch of shit neading to be paid off i woun't be able to go to pico day. The original plan was to take a pal and roadtrip there, getting a ticket would cost a bit to much right now with school, the business school, paying to crack windsheild, and germany trip ti's too much of everything happening at once. i'll try to be at the stream. Hope those going have an awesome time.

In germany I'm going to be pretty much in the building working while making small trips to berlin dicking around teh art crowd and getting art supplies/food. I'm still trying to learn a bit or german so i dont' sound like im going full retard in shit german. The soft skeleton thing i've been doing is gonna be my main focus there, but i'm also working on a script for a secret project hope can work out here shhh. You'll fnd out in july when i get back.
Besides that I've been pulling crazy nights this semester working, making merch, flippign off reject letters, dealign with flakey clients, and probably fuckign with my heart with those rockstar energy drinks. It's paid off the director pulled me in and i got a really good scholarship for the next year! it'll mean i'll have to TA classes for undergrads, but shit i'll do anything for those people. That guy is one of the few people that get how I function, and he's teh best bastard ever who wears the same black shit everyday lik i do i'm not joking it's the best.
I stared a TWITTER and INSTAGRAM in March and those are fun it you wanna follow me. My twitter whores out my store and my jojo shitposting. If you can tolerate my love for the jostars and asshole dio then awesome. Instagram has more of my WIPS, cats, dogs, and work that's pretty safe.

I teamed up with some guy to make shirt snd the falling bighead is available! Go buy it here! The support means a lot and it's legit don't worry! :D

The Deer Bone Necklaces and Druzy/Amethyst necklaces are up and pretty as hell go check them out on the store!

Also please read this last part and ocnsider it. I posted this on the gaming forum about this and one guy recomended me making a post about it here. So my pal is at the endgame stages of his game and launched his indiegogo page for the last stretch of his game. I've seen him work at this for YEARS and really pumped at how close it's getting to being finished! The crowdfunding thing is really the last bit of help since he's been funding it himself for years. The demo is even up here too. Apparently NG can't take exe files. But if you guys could

even just check it out and leave feedback for him that would be amazing the support of you guys is awesome. :)
I had something nice here, but it's 6 in teh morning here and the patience to craft this peice of shit post is wearing off. I wanna say is that some good and bad shit had been happening on both ends for me and others, I don't understand why they happen, but it's really weird how down the road it works out in it's werird way. how the hell can we tell what's gonna happen or the future? we don't, shit can happen RIGHT WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT. You don't know how to react and just ride it out and jsut be there and suport those you care for the most. That and tell them how much you mean to them. Sometimes I think others (and myself) are afraid to tell other how much they mean to them and look cold. Nah don't do that.

sorry no deep shit, so tired. Go on my tumblr for that shit.

Thank you for everything and for taking the time to read my shit have a nice day guys. <3

b]

ps i'm in a collab that will be out soo be on the lookout for that! ;)

EDIT 2/2/16: THE ZINES ARE HERE! THEY'RE $3.75 EACH AND THERE'S 50 AVAILABLE!

http://rubberneck.storenvy.com/

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

The queerest dreams happen whenever I'm getting a goodnight sleep with someone else on the bed.

I’m back after a nice trip spending it with someone very close and it was a really nice trip. I went to my first stripjoint (missed out on getting a poster from her, oh well), learned my limit with boozing, and had some of the most vivid dreams I haven’t had since September (?). The vivid ones tend to reflect more on personal fears, or your subconscious telling you to stop watching weird shit.

One of them was with my SO 69ing a little black woman, and I was furious. Apparently he did that because she couldn’t pay rent and the act served as one instead. It ended in a minor fight with him telling me to leave since I’m not paying to stay in the house.

The other one played out like some weird show. One scene had these really shitty looking vampires trying to make a devil deal by seeing through a curtain and picking the right patch to make it. One of the vampires started saying he’s into shit, but a shit pool party was too much for a shit eater like him. It ended with someone else making a deal with a devil to talk if he gave up his tongue. He did it and later got hit by a bus.

There was one sex dream, and for once it didn’t end horribly. I can’t remember exactly what went on, but it went pretty well up until there was one scene that played out like the binding of Isaac. I'm not sure if that's a good sign or not, and probably not the best thing to use dreams as signs that things are going okay. The strangest thing is that dreams can be a good indicator (when they're not weird) or what's going on, or comfirming what you don't want to admit. Interpreting dreams is tough because no one will have the same type of symblism figures out because different animals/colors do not mean the same for others. To think your can 100% understand the full meaning of a dream is foolish. Taking it with a grain of salt is key because you can get SO HUNG UP on a dream and it will cloud your judgement. This kind of shit isn't overnight, it's a bit like training your intuition. Trusting your gut. It takes time to really get the hang of it, and some people have a natural knack for it. Less bad dreams is a good thing, though the dreamless nights are back but I don't feel any ill from that. Things feel different and ti's going to be okay. There's a change in the air still.

Ever felt that? I'm not talking about the change in air because of the seasons, or pollutants. There's a thing you can feel, I can't explain it. You can SENSE something is going to happen, the bad changes usually catch you by surprise. The good things you end up half expecting it so it's not a complete surprise. It's difficult explaining it without sounding like some new age granola bitch. To sum up things without sounding lile I'm typing my master thesis this vid does the job better.

Not as ominous though...

Getting back into the swing of school and stocking up for Germany. The great thing about that trip is that since 80% of it will be spent working and 20% only require us to be human looking for a bit the clothes needed can fit into a backpack and supplies in normal luggage since the euro and dollar exchange rate isn’t very good. Which makes the amount of “we’re getting rid of all our shit” in the art stores a little concerning. When those things happen it never hurts to stock up just in case. Of course if you have the money for that go for it. I’m still trying to raise up some money for that trip without the use of those funding sites. With that said in the RUBBERNECK store the THREE EYED MEN necklaces and the HEAD BEADS are discounted a bit. The next two peopel who make purchases through me or via the store will get these cool ass music boxes!

I just really want to get rid of them they’re taking space and I want to make room for the next thing that’s coming up.

About a day after I got back my sister pointed out a deer carcass she found in an area in the woods where her SO goes to smoke. Unfortunately someone made off with the deer’s head and antlers, but the spine and some other bits were there. Right now they’re soaking to get rid of the leftover meat on the bones. It smells like rotting beef right now. The vertebrae will be made into pendants with gold leaf painted over them! There will be others that won’t be painted, like some bones will be bleached, others will be left with it’s natural color but SANITIZED. So no one has to worry about diseases. I’ll make a post when it’s done, the deer was pretty big and tearing the vertebrae’s apart was a bitch.

I posted the preview page of it, but in a week or so 50 copies of a ZINE I announced on my art blog months ago will arrive! I'm only doing 50 for now due to printing costs, but depending on how it goes another edition might be available before issue #2 is released. The ZINES will be $3.75 eachIt’s about 20 pages with 4 bonus pages of comics. Each booklet won’t have the came comics on those 4 extra pages. The ZINES are going to be a series of issues that follow a lot of personal dreams, letters, and fears since that seems to be the theme of a lot of ones in the past 5 years. I was able to ink and prepare the cover pages when I was away. Here’s what Issue #1’s cover will look.

I'll make an announcement here and on my artblog when they're here! Each ZINE will be marked, with bonus comics, and a stamp and thankyou note I leave with any purchases made.

Here's the store: http://rubberneck.storenvy.com/

also check this shit out too it's gonna be cool as shit).

As this semester slowly begins the first year students now have to present the Master Thesis that's ging to be the theme of the show April/May 2017. It's been super difficult for me to write it down, but I feel it's getting easier. It's not that coming up with one is hard. I had my mind set what it is since April 2015. At the time it was risky due to events that spawned the whole series or paintings, but I knew it was the right direction to go to. The thesis is incredibly personal not on purpose, but it served a way to talk about things without saying words, or coming up with cornball letters. There's a fear among people who create things that basing your work on someone, or procliaming someone inspires you will lead to their ego being inflated. The affection is never returned the same way because what's hotter than having someone putting their soul into your work because of ONE person???? It's insane and one of the highest forms of flattery next to sabatoge and mockery. It's been almsot a year since then and I'm coming to terms what the works really mean, and getting comfortable talking about it. I'm continuing the narritive as we speak because it's not done. I'm not sure when it'll be done but I don't sense anything bad, so It's okay.

To everyone it'll be okay. It's the most passive things to say, btu really it is. Everything will be okay.

That and the phrase "you're never alone" is so fuckign passive. Looks liek the most annoying phrases can be true as shit it seems..

As always, thank you to everyone for support. It always means a lot and hopefully those in the east coast are trucking through that gnarly snowstorm.

Have a good morning! :)

The year is ending and there's quite a great deal of things happening. There's a point where something will have to be confronted in order to move on I can feel it, but that's another story.

I wanted to make this post before I forget because I put the extra bonus stuff with this. The rubberneck store is having a black friday sale on a few things! you'll get 30% off! It's going on until the 29th.

GO HERE FOR THE RUBBERNECK BLACK FRIDAY SALE!!!

GO HERE FOR THE RUBBERNECK BLACK FRIDAY SALE!!!

GO HERE FOR THE RUBBERNECK BLACK FRIDAY SALE!!!

GO HERE FOR THE RUBBERNECK BLACK FRIDAY SALE!!!

The free shipping sale is over, and with that by Monday the Germany thing will be takig its first steps to being an official trip. I didn't meet my goal, but wiht proper budgeting and managing supplies and whatnot I'll be okay. Comissions and other stuff are stll available in the last masterpost I made here.

Also need to mention that I'm taking off December 12th for reasons and if you plce an order between then and January order will be slow. The store will still be open but I'm having someone help me with orders so expect a minor delay!

Keep an eye on stuff on the artblog for progress pics on some final works and whatnot. Thinking about putting up a compilation on some of the director's dialogue from the past semester.

Blog

I feel like I'm at a strange point in the recent batch of works of the unspoken actions and dialogue of the couple that's been decorating my stuff. I'm not sure how I'm feeling about it, it used to have a sad, kind of fatal uncertainty going on up until the last month (October). On one hand I like the new feeling put into these works, but on the other hand I'm so used to the negativity in these paintings and the sense of hopelessness and depressoin that it takes some time getting used too. People still see the negative in them, but it's evolved a bit more than that on a personal level. As things progress personally and in other areas it's getting easier to talk about them. Not just in my work but other issues that need to be adressed in order to truley move on.

Goodnight and as always thank you for continued support.

MORE EDIT: I noticed some people don't like making accounts for storenvy to get products from my STORENVY. That is A OKAY I do have paypal so if you would like to just PM me for what you want we can work form there! THANK YOU SO MUCH. A reminder too the stuff posted here IS available too unless I state otherwise THANKS A BUNCH!!!

EDIT 10/23/15: THERE ARE TWO NEW SHIRT DESIGNS THAT ARE AVAILABLE TO PRE ORDER RIGHT NOW. THE MAX IS 13-15 SHIRTS WITH THESE NEW DESIGNS AND TAKE ABOUT 3 WEEKS TO MAKE DEPENDING ON THE VOLUME OF ORDERS. THE FREE SHIPPING SPECIAL IS STILL GOING AND YOU CAN PM ME THE COLOR OF SHIRT YOU WANT AND/OR STYLE. STORE: http://rubberneck.storenvy.com/

EDIT 10/19/15: THE FREE SHIPPING DISCOUNT HAS BEEN APPLIED FOR ALL SHIPPING CLASSES WITHIN US, CANADA, AND OTHER PLACES. KEEP IN MIND FOR THOSE NOT IN THE STATES OR CANADA YOU MAY NOT GET A TRACKING NUMBER. TO GET DISCOUNT YOU MUST PURCHASE AT LEAST $10 OR THINGS!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE SUPPORT!!! STORE RIGHT HERE!

I should also mention that the spongecunt and mr.krebs paintings ARE for sale, pm me for a price and shipping stuff. Micro paintings/drawings will beincluded as a bonus along with some goodies!!!

The good thing about the school year at work is that me and my coworkers can get some homework done. I'm writing this as some lady is bitching about an allergic reactoin her kid supposedly had. She managed to get free stuff and was eyeballing someone to blame for her kid's stupid reaction she never told anyone.

Seriously the last night has been teh few nights everything hasn't felt like some lucid dream. I've been out of it for the last two weeks with my sleeping patterns so out of whack. I'll have no sleep for a day or two and then have the worst sleep ever. The journal I started to write in has been god with keeping intimate detail of my bullshit out of the interwebs. I think it's better you people jsut see my work and the hints of my bullshit without writing it down like I'm 14 years old on deviantart.

The nights I don't sleep i end up with these terrible ugly dreams the worst one going to softcore rape shit. Not gangrape level, but more sinister with me deciding to go along with it because it'll be best I'll ever do. Another one had to do with me wedding a guy I barley knew thinking I'll learn to love him. At the same time I felt liek I betrayed someone I care about so much. Love dreams are sick i hate them. However the last two nights were nice ones for one. I havn't had ghood love dreams happen two days in a row. A good sign maybe...

The Germany trip is slowly starting to happen, the whole trip is $2,500 and the professor wants half of that amount be the end of next month (about $1,250). Now I’m not going to be a prick and E-Beg because it’s something that I want to do, and by God I’m going to raise that amount (or at least half of that). I’ve offered commissions in the past with little result but here I’ll put the info and whatnot.

Drawing Commissions

Drawings will rag from $5 to any other price depending on the size. I will offer free shipping for those in Canada and in the States. Anywhere else we can work something out!

Pencil Drawings

Sizes go from little 3x6 papers to full pencil drawings that you can roll up. These will be $5 and up depending on the request.

Charcoal

I also do charcoal, and will do more realism/portraits with these. The base price will be $10 and up. Portraits will be $15. The color of paper will also be $1extra if you don’t want white.

Ink

Pretty much all of you have seen my ink work so the base for these are $15 ($10 for sizes 3x6 and 4x6). Complexity and size will vary; different colored paper will be $1 extra.

All drawing commissions that are ink will have the option for watercolor, it will be $10 extra depending on size!

Painting Commissions

4x6 paintings will be $20 and these will be on canvas. For woodblock paintings they will be $25. Any other sizes and types of media you want the paint to be on will be determined one on one! I’m pretty flexible and my examples of realism are on my artblog (link). For the bigger works I have shipping and transport will be worked on for anything bigger than 18x24. Portraits are offered as well with the base price of $50, progress shots will be given for painting commissions if you so wish! Anyone who lives in the Houston area who want the bigger pieces will bypass a lot of shipping dealies.

For painting commissions I will do pretty much anything except lolicon shota stuff.

As for the Rubberneck store there will be FREE SHIPPING coupon This week for those living in the states and Canada. The code will be FREESHIP just put it in during check out and out will be good!

Also I have these little micro paintings that will be included for the first 6 orders of the rubberneck store, or commissions!

Again any little commission will go towards this trip, and even for a computer upgrade for the next series of lovers shirts that will be here in mid 2016.

Seriously my poor computer is beat and it’s a 10.6.8 MacBook that’s survived so much can’t get good software with it anymore. Any extra money left from this trip will go towards the computer too. I pretty much kicked most of my vices (except wonderfully cancerlicious diet coke)

Holy shit.

In seriousness this computer is a 2009 model and been through dogs stomping it, water being spilled and a couple of falls. It's time for an upgrade.

I do have one question, the black shirt were popular, but do anyone interested in these shirts want other colors? Reply below any colors you want!

Again thank you guys so much for the support and great reviews you guys are amazing!

As for Germany I can totally meet up with anyone who are chilling there, it would be cool I’ll be there from June 20th to July 14th!  More stuff and whatnot on my artblog.

Have a good night! :D

ps that new iron maiden album is pretty good.

 It's not heartburn if the chunky texture of hummus and sesame sticks is perpetually in your throat.

After am reject letter from a show I went through the crap movie list I have saved that's grown over time. I had this movie on the bottom of the list I only saw clips of at a gym daycare.

I only remebered the Child's Play esque scenes and the shitty puppet, most of the other movies I saw as a kid were a bit too much so I figured watching it again after so long would be fun. It was kinda crappy with the movie trying to inject lame phycological thriller and tie in to child killers/developmental phycology stuff. Also the attorney in the movie was probably one of the worst ones I've ever scene. The only cool part was this guy in jail laughing at this really shitty recording of him butchering a butcher (pff). Also the 11 year old hugging the creepy puppet was fucking weird. Most normal 11 year olds would be like "Ew screw that wood ass creepy puppet.". Heck even though the dolls from childs play pre possession was a ittle eerie, but most dolls from that period were kinda weird looking to begin with. Puppets are just weird. I can't bash them too much since I have a bunch of sad clown porceline dolls on my shelf....

The crap movie wasn't really a distraction, but it was on the list. I was never one to bawl over reject latter, that's quitter behavior that should be gone by the time you hit 6. I app;ied to a bunch of shows before begining my MFA program to bulk up my resume and sell some stuff. Apparently online shows are a big thing, a bit unorthodox but I can't bitch about that. Quite a number of events have resulted in unorthodox ways ( most of my buyers are you guys, and other things that have happened which turned out better than I thought through online use). I got the go for two galleries, one got some special recognition from this art professor who's a big shot. His comment was amazing. You can read it here under my name LINDA. Got special recognition for a few peices, a little article, and (probably, i didn't hear anything recent) a little section in the local paper (i hope) so that's really neat.

The show will be up until the end of the month, and prices for the bigger peices are up if anyone's interested. Another show here at September 1st so check that out soon. Prices will be up for one peice however.

The reject came from some semi crappy art gallery in New York. One of my goals is to get at least a piece or two in NY for giggles (mostly to find where I belong, but let's go with the former). The gallery was kinda shitty from the last year competition with the classic smudge minimalistic crzp, and the only cool things being a painting of a statue of a pennywise-esque clown touching a kid and a painting that looked like a blurred picture. It wasn't the reject letter tha tbothered me, it was more of the fee I wouldn't get back. Cost 50 bucks just to be considered, but I wanted to try it out, and kinda learn from experience. Nothing is owed but shit, 50 bucks man. Not too much in teh long run right now, but I'm a cheap ass.

The store won't be updated with any new stuff for awhile with the MFA in full swing. Ideally I'd love to get rid of some of the things I have stashed in my special closet for space reasons. It rally comes from wanting to get as much stuff gone as possible since I want little weighiing me down after I make my move in 2 years.

I don't have anyting concrete where I'm going to go after the masters. Defintley not PHD that's not really my groove. I'm not sure where I'll relocate, but that's not somethign I shoudl sit on. At the same time I can't do anything crazy. 2 years will go by fast, but a lot will happen within that time period. I have 4 places I might belong in, though I htink that part has to do with myself and people then my work. I'm trying to be honest with myself on that part. Almost every place has a few people who like and buy my stuff, but that feeling of being displaced hs always stuck with me for most of my life. It sounds stupid as fuck and something a teenaged shitbag would type out. It's true though, but I can at least not bellyache about it. There's been one instance where that feeling left, but it had little to do with a place. That's another story...

The studio in the MFA is nice. Windows for nice plans, a small bookshelf, and security cameras (finally). I put up pictures of it on my artblog here for anyone curious. If you don't follow my artblog, you might want to as one of the big story projects will be put up there as I draft more of the story. I might even make a tab for the lost M4DNESS: Operation comics I never finished. Those are still on drunkduck (theduckwebcomics now I think) and a few pages from early 2012 I never posted survived. Keep an eye out on that. Keep an eye out on the store, new things may or may not come. (hint new shirt maybe)

Holy shit I think that'll do, goodnight.

ps I wish this blog shit had spellcheck. save some trouble.

Ever go through previous work and pinpoint periods of life where there was a shift in color palettes and themes?

After stalking the mailbox and a few weeks later I made it. I got the confirmation earlier this month.

aw yus.

According to the director there was so much competitinon for space, and the acceptance rate is really small there. When I got that email i wasn't sure if it was a dream or what. It's crazy I'm almost done with what I need to do here, and honestly I didn't think i'd be around to even get my first bachelors. There are few people that stuck around that made the difference with my work and getting shit done. The best part is that they're finishing constructing the last two studios and i'll be able to move into mine by the end of next month the latest.

With that going on I was going through some of my stuff from 2012 and pinpointing some life events that ended up shifting the direction of my stuff. Life is more abstract than any painting or peice of poetry, and it's hard to admit that people can influence your a lot more than you realize. I never liked putting people I hated in my work, their faces will show or some themes revolve around some nasty shit but never people. I always found that to be in poor taste. Putting loved ones, that's sexier than anuything, and probably the highest compliment someone could receive. With that, their precense can affect how the work looks overall. the pallete in my stuff is starting ot change into a pinky flesh tone. I want to contribute that to the one influencing my stuff, but i'm not one to inflate ego here. i'll leave it at that I'm sounding like some narcissictic gallery fucker.

For those who frequent my blog and rubberneck store you'll have noticed a minor facelift for both the sites. I'm not sure if it's because i can't stand ot see things the same for so long, or if it's a response to the slow change that's overcome my work but it look cooler. Also I put the banner which makes it look cool too. Some stuff is gome from the store due to it getting destroyed at my house (another story another time), but things were added in. The metal plates and some of the stuff I brought to philly in april that I still have are there so go ahead and check out the nicer store!

Go here :)

I also was working on one of those trophy things for that NG 20th collab, but ran out of time but here's teh sketches anyway. I wish i made the deadline no one did Dr. Shroud. He's a classic and just plain cool. Though I admit i'm rpetty much a sucker for cool shows with at least one vampire in it. Old habits die hard.

Some of those trophies in the collab thread looked amazing though, seriously.

Goodnight. :)

Caught something gnarly after my flight coming home from Philly and I htink I'm feeling better...

Yea...

Pico Day went better than expected! I met people who've followed my work for years! It was amazing and so exciting to see people who're like YO I LIKE YOUR STUFF! It means a lot and the fact one of you bought a peice made my week! Saw old friends I haven't seen in over a year which was amazing, though it was sad to see the old and new people I met go, I sincerly hope you all had a safe travel home free of sickness.

I handed out so many business cards it was ridiculous, and a hit! I'm glad I had the ability to go and get invited, hopefully I can do this again next year! I'm trying to find anyone I met at pico day, if any of you have skype my username is on the side of my profile. I'm on skype a lot so that's the best way to stay in constant contact (besides newgrounds).

I'm really excited for other friend's projects finishing up after so long, and listening to people's projects while some of us crashed on the room the afternoon on pico day. Livestream was fun and a little nervous, I saw some of you i've followed for years show up and it was so cool. I was worried about showing my face, but after awhile and people recognizing me through some of the faces in my work the worry passed.

I'm going to be doing my best to keep the store updated, it's been a bit hard keeping up with that along with this new BA/MBA program. Weird news from art school. I didn't realize how many applicants applied this year, it was nuts! Though there ma be a spot for me, there's a litle plan me and the director and setting up that'll be pretty sweet for the next year. Can't get into too much detail but I think it'll work out for the best! Life is really weird. Things happen and peopel fall in and out of your life. Sometimes you wonder, expecially with those who mean a great deal, why they fell into your life. I've gotten those answers when i least expected it. You can't push things like that, but in the end there's a reason for things and people improve/teach you a lesson/offer help. I really hope to stay in touch with all the people I met. It was also really amazing to meet such a nice group of girlies at pico day who just want to do art! It's great! Please for those I met let's be buds it was awesome to meet you all!

Hope none of you got sick and had a safe night! :)

Making a quick post before i leave for my trip to philly! I said in my last post i'd be bringing some little paintings for anyone who's interested.

Here's some of the little stuff I'll be bringing!

The biggest is the bite and fatass (9x12), and we can talk about price whenever. You'll be bypassing shipping so that's somthign to consider! Also i'm boring so funds go straight to making art shit not any vices. I may see some of you at the pizza thingie Friday afternoon, depends on how I feel. Look out for me i'll be wearing a birdskull necklace. See most of you saturday! Safe trip everyone!