can't believe it's been nearly a year since i wrote anything here. It feels like only a handful of months passed since posting in this news section, but I know it's been longer than that. A doublethink kind of feel where I know it's been almost a year, but yet it doesn't feel like it.
Same time good chunk of my dreams have been way too cryptic and borderline prophetic again. not in a bad way, but knowing that track record it's kind of like bracing yourself for impact with someone about to rear end you. where you die, but you're awake in another timeline because your consciousness switched over to a favorable outcome. I've been doing much more cult research and some personal things, so lines are blurred sometimes...
By the end of the month it'll be me n my wife's one year anniversary. Pretty nuts considering the handful of risks that pertained to that. It's more funny than anything when she saw a lot of the tax benefits, lower car insurance, and making more money at work based on marital status. Seeing that and knowing years from seeing tax documents on dependants it's always kind of funny seeing people freak the hell out about marriage. Same breath they get weird about it, but will end up within the pits and become exactly what they made fun of. It's really easy to end up with a total asshole/weirdo. I've been with that lot, so much where you fall into a complacency with it because you're sex drive is nonexistent and it's become convenient to have a cunt who you can say is your significant other, but there's no love there. it's not the ideal arrangement to be. sex is always overrated anyway and the amount of people who have no clue, or an inflated ego of being a sex monster is staggering. you're better being by yourself and achieving a legacy that doesn't require blood. online footprint doesn't always count unless it oozes into irl scenarios.
Can honestly for sure say i made the right choice, not that I had any doubts the first time we moved in together back in 2019, her moving states (u haul lesbian jokes here) and a really murky future with acceptance with family. It's been really nice, and she's become the more grounded one keeping some of my neurotic episodes ironed out. We never did the wedding dress or anything, not that any of us were into that. neither family ever did corpo shithead paypig weddings. everyone's different, but I've been seeing more and more get bent out of shape over fairly new concepts in matrimony and nuclear family and relationships that are a result in a breakdown of ancient arrangements that worked for the longest time, but it doesn't benefit malevolent forces.
I posted the cover a few months ago, but I received a grant from zinefest houston for a proposal of a soft biography/my own personal autism soup of spiritual beliefs. A small bit of it is admittedly a tasteful spitting in the face of those who've seen my work as a threat, or for personal reasons has issues with me. such the case for anything art related. I was talking with a friend/client who's annoyed i don't mark up my work more. And honestly it would be very nice, but after years of doing that it's just not feasible. Hell the mavathatos books move out slow despite being normal priced books. but someone's is going to spend more on Demon Slayer than some cunt's bizarre occult fiction. Art sales are gas money and to supplement dayjob wages. it's an okay arrangement, and thins are very slowly going back to pre covid in terms of shows and events. Much of the artworld here is (and all really when you look at it) is seeped with politics and some real hidden shit with covert superstitious figures who larp in some belief that gives you a family friendly image. It's a scene i despise and quite frankly childish and wicked. the "true indie" group (when I mean that i man very close knit, queer, and any lesbo fetishists are kicked out) do not have much space income, but support among each other is always wonderful and it's something i've not regretted going towards. Neither do I regret my choice with avoiding directly working with the schools. I've seen peers I have to talk to that are connected to work age horrible with what's going on in the public school system, plus race games where it's just not worth it. I've avoided a relapse for the last 4 years and I want to keep it that way. A failed marriage isn't an achievement i'm looking to add in my arsenal of mistakes.
Anyway, Skeletal hallucination is available for purchase. I know eventually I'll post all 54 pages here, but if you're interested in the comic, or other shit i've been listing please take a look at my store.
I think it's a relic of a different time of the internet, I tend to treat this as a blogpost. Sometimes it gets vague, sometimes it's personal. It's really neat having kids "rediscover" shit you saw online back in 2004.
Kids are funny, alot of work but they're hilarious. With things the way they are I don't know if kids are in our future, but i'm at a point where I have a pseudo apprenticship with my older students who have picked up on my methods. A begining of a legacy is there with the shit I do at work and that area of the city. That and my body of work will suffice if children are not viable. recent events have been funny with the overturning on abortion shit. I've been involved with childcare since i was a kid myself and have worked at abortion crisis hotlines. It's always the whore argument pointed at the womb bearer, but you can't call these guys hoes. just from what I've seen it's never a fun situation and it's always a last ditch effort of "i literally have no support and could possible be screwed" or a case of your partner screaming "baby trapping" when it was a total accident and deserting you. The best phonecalls were guys playing fair weather fug lamenting possible fatherhood. i've just been utterly disgusted at the amount of men laughing calling those who are upset at this whores and morons where they're stuck in forever 21 peterpan syndrome shitposting on the chans or plebbit and doing nothing for their own community.
shit's bullshit and the gas/food prices are bullshit. have your bugout bag and your shit in order. in the grand scheme of things you have to worry about your own family. also hygiene shit. people tend to forget that shit
I'm rambling, alot has been going on over here. Some good, some really surreal. The type where you realize the whiplash of karma is fucking real and it's multiplied 10 fold. It's not worth to laugh at, but all i can say is make your peace and be safe. Thanks for reading and for the 12 years here on Newgrounds. :)