the amount of times you have to repeat youself to convince yourself you're okay, you have to stop and realize you're really not ok. it's fine now.

I like to go through older posts I make here to reflect on things and confront shit that was going through my head the time i wrote it. i don't really like deleting posts, the only time i did was teenager shit off of deviantart that talked about stupid movies. even if you delete nearly all of your stuff will end up archived. be careful what you say it'll always be online or inside of your heart.

I wanted to make a post before 2019 rolled around due to a huge influx of followers from a few accounts, but I had way too much on my mind and scrapped a bunch of things I wrote down. It's now february, i'm going to be 27 in a few days. I used to have a big circle of girls I associated with who'd freak out about reaching that age. More so without a significant other or children in their lives. Their expiration date is edging closer. it's really dumb, of course it'd be disingenuous to say it doesn't get to you. Pretty much 95% of my former colleagues have just started to have children or engaged/married. it is something I've desired, but on the other hand i still have my freedom to travel and haven't fallen into the trap of accidental babies. A bit of a trade off considering the last few years.

i heard someone say that don't regret doing something you wanted, that it wo't be exactly what you wanted, but you'll be glad you did it and do not regret it. i've been feeling like that towards the end of 2018, i'm enjoying being alone and not having my time wasted and growing proejcts and finishing things. it's been really nice.

to all new followers hello! you found my page and want to say thanks for following and supporting. I don't like to shill too much, but I do have a store and have a ton of things such as inks, zines, and bone jewelery. I don't really do donations since I've just never been comfortable with taking money unless I'm offering a product in return. I do have a store here: https://rubberneck.storenvy.com/

or just message me directly. I don't really have any vices I blow money on, plus booze is expensive and it's too costly too keep up with it, any purchase or support means a bunch. I'll end the plug there.

If you noticed the amount of mavathatos covers posted the last few months yes i'm working on a 4 book part novella of mavathatos. the look for the covers is based on the underground occult books you find on some serious rituals or the satanic rites you can find in the metaphysics section of a half price book store. the whole story is really about a necromancer messing with things due to greif and mava's adventures after yericho drops dead. you pretty much have a good chunk of the story already through last year and late 2017. I have booklets of mavathtos already out. they're teh first run so some changes for the cover and some pages are going to happen before the final product. It's over 50 pages long and some art so if you would like a copy ($10) dm me.

I made a ton other bone shit too that's available check out my instagram (@Rubbbernecking) for some more stuff.

funny enough i never did get that money from that fraud charge. I was able to recover myself. hard as shit but i was able to do it. Ended up sinking some money into my car but it's ok! It's all good so far the first month has started out pretty well so i'm good.

again welcome new followers and thank old ones for the support! <3